It’s 2018 and everyone is sad but in Los Angeles the world’s most glamorous celebrities and talented auteurs are getting ready for Hollywood’s biggest night as the film industry comes together to celebrate the best movies of the year.
Millions of people watch the Academy Awards (less millions than used to but still millions!). Many of them watch because they love them (the drama camp demographic). Many watch because they hate them (Twitter). Most watch because it’s what’s on and who cares really, it’s all just noise.
It’s a night of stars and songs and short clips from critically adored films that didn’t do too well at the box office. There’s a comedian who tries to walk the line between playing to the self-serious industry members in the room and playing to the populist sensibilities of the viewer of home. There’s the In Memorium part which makes everyone feel things varying from sadness that someone they never met but whose work they appreciated died, to anger that the Academy neglected to include someone they never met but whose work they appreciated and died.
There are Oscar pools for people who need that extra bit of cayenne in their pop culture experience. Some vote with their hearts, others vote with a cold hard calculous that suggests WWII films win. I personally like to wing it. You can read my ballot here and tell me how stupid I am later.
Many zillions of people do not like the Academy Awards because they think it is just an excuse for the most attractive rich people on Earth to get together and pat each other on the back for being so great and so enlightened. But who cares? Every industry has circle jerks, and at least at this one there’s live music!
The Oscars are a sad joke, very much like our President. So many things are wrong!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 23, 2015
But the truth is the Oscar nominees gathering at the Dolby Theater tonight are actually not just rich attractive people. They’re rich attractive union members. SAG! DGA! Even the producers have a guild. Why does that matter? Because the real Mother Jones loved unions. It was her thing. Now whether you buy that that is why I am live blogging the Oscars tonight or believe that I just came up with that excuse a second ago and didn’t think about it for even a second before typing it out, the fact is, I am live blogging the Oscars tonight.
It starts at 8. See you then!
I don’t know how much longer I can take this bullshit – so terrible! #Oscars
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 3, 2014